Greater Righteousness: Marriage and Divorce

Lesson 3: Recognizing Jesus' higher call for marriage.

In the light of verse 19, Jesus continues to explain to his disciples that his teaching does not do away with the law, rather his teaching supersedes the law. In effect Jesus is raising the standard of what it means to be a “righteous” individual. Then He illustrates this point with specific examples related to the Law. In fact, he places anger, lust, divorce, oaths, and retaliation on the same moral plane as murder, adultery, and perjury. Over the next few weeks we will go over these particulars that Jesus has given us.

Note: While Jesus raises the standard of righteous conduct in this passage, he does not reveal the mechanism by which we arrive at this level of righteousness. On its face, Jesus is placing the Kingdom of Heaven out of reach for everyone. Later passages in the New Testament reveal that the Christian’s righteousness is given to him or her by Jesus Christ and acted out in the Christian as he or she walks in the Holy Spirit. This does not mean that Christians are immune to sin, because believers can and do still sin; however, the spirit of the believer longs to not sin, that is, be righteous. A repentant heart can always find restoration to righteousness in Jesus Christ. [1 John 2, Romans 8]

Important Note: Jesus did not dismiss or abuse people who had been divorced. In fact, in John 4, Jesus goes out of his way to minister to a woman who had been divorced five times and was now living in adultery. According to the culture of his day he was violating numerous protocols. He was a Jew talking to a Gentile, a man talking to a woman, a rabbi talking to a sinner. Yet, he cared about her so deeply that he was willing to reveal his true identity to her. He revealed himself to be the Christ. It is important as we study Jesus' teaching on this subject that we remember Jesus doesn't hate divorced people. What he hates is a practice that damages lives and families, and destroys a union that God had declared to be holy.

The Sanctity of Marriage in an Age of Grace

[Mat 5:31-32 ESV] 31 "It was also said, 'Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.' 32 But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

Establishing the first premise:  God hates divorce.

[Mal 2:13-17 NLT] 13 Here is another thing you do. You cover the LORD's altar with tears, weeping and groaning because he pays no attention to your offerings and doesn't accept them with pleasure. 14 You cry out, "Why doesn't the LORD accept my worship?" I'll tell you why! Because the LORD witnessed the vows you and your wife made when you were young. But you have been unfaithful to her, though she remained your faithful partner, the wife of your marriage vows. 15 Didn't the LORD make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his. And what does he want? Godly children from your union. So guard your heart; remain loyal to the wife of your youth. 16 "For I hate divorce!" says the LORD, the God of Israel. "To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty," says the LORD of Heaven's Armies. "So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife." 17 You have wearied the LORD with your words. "How have we wearied him?" you ask. You have wearied him by saying that all who do evil are good in the LORD's sight, and he is pleased with them. You have wearied him by asking, "Where is the God of justice?"

The prophecy of Malachi is the last prophecy recorded in the Old Testament. The book ends, leaving the story of redemption very much unfinished. In many ways, Jesus picks up where Malachi left off. This is one such instance. In Malachi, God is lodging several complaints against his people. One of those is the prevalence of divorce among their numbers. Then he tells them why. 

A. Divorce violates the vows of marriage.B. Divorce destroys a union God has created. [Matthew 19:6 , Mark 10:9   ESV]C. Divorce has an irreversible effect on children.D. Divorce brings heart-ache to the one you have vowed to protect.

Divorce in the case of sexual immorality.
Jesus does permit one to initiate divorce if the spouse has been sexually unfaithful, but divorce is not mandated in such a case. Jesus isn't creating a new exception. Rather he is restating the original provision in the Mosaic Law. In such a case, divorce is an option but not the only option. There are a number of factors which should be considered. 

If God hates divorce, why did he allow it in the first place?
The Law permited divorce only if a man takes a wife and then discovers that she has previously been with another man.

[Deuteronomy 24:1-4 ESV] 1 "When a man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, and she departs out of his house, 2 and if she goes and becomes another man's wife, 3 and the latter man hates her and writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the latter man dies, who took her to be his wife, 4 then her former husband, who sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after she has been defiled, for that is an abomination before the LORD. And you shall not bring sin upon the land that the LORD your God is giving you for an inheritance.

This passage of the Law gave women legal standing in the nation of Israel. Rather that being bought and traded as property, they had to be treated as people. This provision of the Law stipulates that if a man divorced his wife and she became remarried, he could never again take her as his wife. Such a law protected women from being prostituted or swapped.
The Pharisees considered giving a "writ of divorce" to be a righteous act.

The entire emphasis of this portion of Matthew 5 is to exceed the common concept of righteousness.  Somehow, the Pharisees had twisted this scripture to mean that they could divorce their wives for any reason as long as they gave them a receipt on the way out the door. Jesus directly contradicts this erroneous belief.

Read and Discuss Matthew 19:3-10.

Jesus declaration (restatement really) that there was only one legitimate reason for divorce seems to catch his disciples by surprise as well. So much so, that they declare that a man shouldn't even get married.

Questions

• How should Jesus teaching on divorce affect our view of marriage?
• What instructions/advice  should we give those who are not yet married?
• How did Jesus treat those who had been divorced? [see John 4]
• How are we to treat those who have a history of divorce?
• Can you name one prominent groom in the New Testament who considered divorcing his bride? [see Matthew 1:19]
• Is a "lack of love" a legitimate reason for divorce? 
• Is love a decision, a feeling or a commitment?
• How do these verses apply to love in marriage? Ephesians 5:33, John 15:13, Matthew 5:44.
• Are "religious differences" a legitimate reason for divorce? [see I Corinthians 7:12-16]

To continue to the next lesson, click HERE.

Greater Righteousness: The Dust of Lust

Lesson 2: Recognizing the sinfulness of lust.

In the light of verse 19, Jesus continues to explain to his disciples that his teaching does not do away with the law, rather his teaching supersedes the law. In effect Jesus is raising the standard of what it means to be a “righteous” individual. Then He illustrates this point with specific examples related to the Law. In fact, he places anger, lust, divorce, oaths, and retaliation on the same moral plane as murder, adultery, and perjury. Over the next few weeks we will go over these particulars that Jesus has given us.
Note: While Jesus raises the standard of righteous conduct in this passage, he does not reveal the mechanism by which we arrive at this level of righteousness. On its face, Jesus is placing the Kingdom of Heaven out of reach for everyone. Later passages in the New Testament reveal that the Christian’s righteousness is given to him or her by Jesus Christ and acted out in the Christian as he or she walks in the Holy Spirit. This does not mean that Christians are immune to sin, because believers can and do still sin; however, the spirit of the believer longs to not sin, that is, be righteous. A repentant heart can always find restoration to righteousness in Jesus Christ. [1 John 2, Romans 8]

The Dust of Lust.

The unrighteousness of Lust.

Mat 5:27-30 ESV – “You have heard that is was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.”

Establishing the first premise: Adultery is bad.

Unfortunately, we can no longer assume that everyone is aware of the seriousness of adultery, or even aware of the definition of adultery. Regardless of the cultural perception of normalcy, the Bible is clear that the only people who should be having sex is a man and a woman who are married to each other. There is no other sexual relationship sanctioned by God. [Matthew 19:4,5; 1 Corinthians 6:9-11; Hebrews 13:4]

Now, the question is "why"? Why does God place such a high priority on this area of our lives?  As with many things, to find the Biblical beginning of a subject we need to return to Genesis.

Marriage is a holy union.

Contrary to the winds of much of the current social climate, marriage is much more than a contractual agreement. Marriage is not just a business merger or a means of getting a better tax break or insurance rate. Marriage is a holy covenant, sanctioned by God, between one man and one woman. 

The very first commandment give to man by God is contained in the following passage:

Gen 1:27-28 NKJV - "27 So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. 28 Then God blessed them, and God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.""

Genesis chapter 2 further elaborates on the creation of man and woman:

Gen 2:21-24 NKJV - "21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. 22 Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. 23 And Adam said: "This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man." 24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh."

The key to understanding the importance of marriage is contained in the phrase, “created…in the image of God.” The Bible is specific in its teaching that man is not just another animal. Mankind’s mind and intellect make him unique in all of creation. The eternal nature of his soul and spirit reflect the eternal nature of God and elevate him far above the level of a mere animal. Unlike anything else in creation, man's soul was birthed by the very breath of God. [Genesis 2:7].

Satan’s desire is to undo anything God has done. This includes the sacredness of marriage. [John 8:42-45;  Romans 1:18-32].

Marriage is a life of self surrender. Marriage is not about getting, marriage is about giving.  In marriage you learn to surrender the things you want (or even need) to see to that the other person's needs are met. [Ephesians 5:21].

• You may do without physical comforts.
• You may have to surrender your "toys".
• You may spend holidays with people you don't really like.
• You may have to curb your spending habits.
• You will have to learn to share living space with another person whose routine and habits are very different from your own.

Marriage is a life of mutual empowerment. When a marriage is built on a Biblical foundation, the value of the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. There is a principle in the Bible in which those who follow the Lord together gain exponential strength. [Leviticus 26:8]. This hold true, I think, in the realm of marriage as well. 

Several years ago there was a line in a movie that gained popularity among lovers. "He completes me...<insert dreamy look here>". Such an idea is nonsense. If you are an incomplete person before marriage you will be an incomplete person afterward. Only Jesus Christ can "complete" you for he is your creator. You can put that kind of pressure on your spouse. He or she cannot do that. Rather a godly spouse is a complement or, if you prefer, a "help meet for" you.

In marriage we imitate the Divine. Like it or not, marriage is a God given visual aid of the relationship between God and his people. In the Old Testament, used it to illustrate his relationship to Israel and Judah [Jeremiah 3:20; Isaiah 62:5]. In the New Testament, it illustrates the relationship between Christ and his Church. [John 3:28,29; Ephesians 5:21-33]. Christ sacrificed himself for his church. The church is called upon be a living sacrifice for her Savior. [Romans 12:1-3] Jesus initiated the relationship with his church and leads his church. [Romans 5:8]. The Church worships and magnifies the Savior. [Phillipians 3:3]. 

In what way does this parallel the "love and respect" passage of Ephesians 5?

• Adultery undermines all three of these principles
• Adultery is a selfish act.
• Adultery weakens and humilitates the spouse one has pledged to protect/honor.
• Adultery breaks a sacred covenant.

Jesus states that, for the person committing the sin, lust is the moral equivalent of adultery. In the "amputation" verses here, Jesus is impressing on us the seriousness of sin. If it were our eyes or our hands that caused us to sin, physical amputation would be a quick (albeit drastic) solution. The problem is that our hands and eyes are not the source of sin. The source of sin is our own fleshly desires.

 "But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death." (James 1:14-15 KJV)

Conclusion: The bottom line is that Jesus is raising the bar on Christian conduct. While physical fidelity is a good thing, Jesus is calling us to spiritual fidelity as well. Because of Jesus' conquest of sin and Satan at Calvary, it is possible for Christians to live a victorious life in this world. This doesn't mean that the sin nature in us has been annihilated, but it does mean that as believers, we can walk after the Spirit rather than after the flesh.

To continue to the next lesson, click HERE.

Baby, you're my "Life"!

 

In Genesis 2-3 the Bible gives us the account of the creation of our first parents. Here are some things you may not know.

1. The Hebrew word that is transliterated as the proper name “Adam” is used through out the Old Testament as a non-proper designation for “man” or “mankind”. While the translators of our English language Bibles are compelled by necessity and tradition to translate this word into a proper name for the first man, the God-given purpose of his name was to designate his order in creation. That is, he is called “adam” designating him as the one created from the dust but in the image of God, brought to life by the breath of God, and therefore in a standing higher than the animals.

2. “Adam” is one vowel sound different from the Hebrew word for “ground” which is pronounced “adamah”. This usually refers to inhabited or cultivated land.

It is quite conceivable that as God would walk into the garden to talk to Adam, his call is something equivalent to “hey, dirt guy”. Remember Adam is a guy. This name is as good as any other. (Hey, most men will adopt names and nicknames for themselves and for other men that very, very few women would ever be willing to carry.)

3. There is another word that is translated “man”. This words is the Hebrew word “ish” which is used to contrast between male and female. This is first used in Gen. 2:23.

4. The word used for woman or female is similar to “ish”. It is the word “ish-shah”. This is the word that the Bible uses for the first woman all of the way through the creation narrative down to Gen. 3:20.

 

I want to show you what changes in Genesis 3:20.

You may be familiar with the story of the “fall of man”, but if you are not you will need to read the first three chapters of Genesis for this to make sense. Here it is in a nut shell.

• The man (adam) and his wife (ish-shah) are created by God and placed in a garden paradise.
• They are occupied, but not overworked.
• Every need is supplied.
• They are in fellowship with God.
• They have one little restriction. They cannot eat the fruit from one tree, the “tree of the knowledge of good and evil”. If they do, they will die.
• Satan enters the picture and tempts the woman. She succumbs and eats the fruit.
• She give to her husband. He is not deceived, but he eats anyway [see 1 Timothy 2:14].
• God comes on the scene, and everything goes sideways.
• The curse falls on this world because of their sin. They will suffer. They will die.

Now imagine you are the woman.

She was “deceived”. In the midst of her disobedience to God, she genuinely thought she was doing the right thing. She gave him the “forbidden fruit.” She had not meant to harm Adam, but because he had eaten the fruit she handed to him…

Adam lost the best job in the world,
Adam lost the best home in the world (God soon evicts them from the garden),
He was now subject to sickness and disease,
Adam was sentenced to hard labor for the rest of his life, and
Adam would die.

Now as the woman stands there next to her husband, they are both the recipients of God's displeasure. She watches as her husband begins instantly to age. I am quite certain, she felt overwhelming guilt. She was guilty. They were both guilty.

Can you hear her weeping to Adam? “I’m so sorry. I’ve brought you misery and death. You would have been better off without me. I’ve messed your life up. Oh Adam, I am so, so sorry.”

Here is where verse 3:20 comes in:

“And Adam called his wife's name Eve; because she was the mother of all living.”

Look at that! Isn’t this an odd time for “dirt guy” to rename his bride? Up until now she has been known as “ish-shah” or “female”, but now she will be known as “Eve” which means “Life”.

Can you see it? There they stand guilty before an offended God, their beautiful life is crashing down around them and he turns to her and says, “Oh honey, you’re my ‘Life’!”


Then something curious happens:

Notice that when the man accused the woman and the woman accused the snake, God came down hard on everyone involved. Now the man shows tenderness and forgiveness to his wife and watch what happens in verse 21:

“Unto Adam also and to his wife did the LORD God make coats of skins, and clothed them.”

Was God withholding mercy until Adam showed mercy? I don’t know. I cannot draw such a causative link based on this verse alone, but I can tell you that that principle is consistent with the New Testament teachings of Jesus. Look at Matthew 6:12. This is from what we commonly call the “Lord’s Prayer”. Jesus said we are to pray,

“And forgive us our debts, as we have forgiven our debtors.”
esv

Then he goes on to explain,

“For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”

This is probably the least favorite line of the Lord’s prayer. I’m afraid we often try to modify the Lord’s prayer and pray this way :

“God forgive me, and help me forgive everybody else.”

I’m sorry, but this isn’t a prayer consistent with Jesus pattern for us. The correct way to pray, according to Jesus, is to pray, “Father, forgive me as I forgive others…”

That kind of prayer really raises the bar on the importance of our forgiveness of others, doesn’t it? Here is the thing: if we live our lives harboring unforgiveness against other people, we have no expectation of forgiveness from our Heavenly Father.

We could certainly develop this train of thought a lot farther, but at some point you would stop reading. By now I think you probably get the point anyway. So, I'll leave you with this...

“And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.” -Mark 11:25 esv